{"id":13475,"date":"2021-07-02T13:30:16","date_gmt":"2021-07-02T18:30:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.osfhealthcare.org\/blog\/?p=13475"},"modified":"2021-07-02T12:24:17","modified_gmt":"2021-07-02T17:24:17","slug":"listen-your-childs-mental-health-depends-on-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/osf-blog.live.imagescape.com\/blog\/listen-your-childs-mental-health-depends-on-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Listen! Your child\u2019s mental health depends on you"},"content":{"rendered":"

Listen up, parents.<\/p>\n

The most important thing you can do for your young son or daughter is listen. That\u2019s right: Listen. And if it\u2019s worth reading three times in the first two paragraphs of this blog, it\u2019s worth reading again.<\/p>\n

\u201cListen to them. If we listen without judgment, they will share,\u201d said Bernice Young, a psychotherapist in Child and Adolescent Behavioral Health<\/a> for OSF HealthCare.<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s possible that listening \u2013 especially to your children \u2013 has never been more important. The world \u2013 from the global stage on down to interpersonal relationships in our communities, jobs, neighborhoods and homes \u2013 can be complicated and confusing.<\/p>\n

Our kids might put on a brave front. But they feel the stress.<\/p>\n

Suicide, fear of death top concerns<\/h2>\n

Bernice has listened to hundreds, if not thousands, of young people during her 26-year career.<\/p>\n

Many issues she has encountered through the years still exist. But since March 2020, when the COVID-19<\/a> pandemic roared into our lives, there are a lot more.<\/p>\n

Topping the list is a fear of dying.<\/p>\n

\u201cFear of death is on a different level now,\u201d Bernice said. \u201cSome children, their parents died. Some developed a fear of death because they heard so much about it. There was an overload of talk on the news about COVID-19.\u201d<\/p>\n

Perhaps paradoxically, another profound change since early 2020 is a dramatic escalation in the youth suicide rate. The rate had been rising, but it leaped with the onset of the pandemic, especially among girls. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suspected suicide attempt visits to hospital emergency departments by girls age 12-17 in February and March 2021 spiked by 50.6% over the same period in 2020.<\/p>\n

\n

Need help talking to your child?<\/p>\n

Pediatric Behavioral Health Services | OSF HealthCare.<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cThe numbers are getting younger: 8-year-olds, 9-year-olds, 10-year-olds,\u201d Bernice said. \u201cBefore, we often thought the teenage years were the challenging time, but we\u2019re seeing kids of a younger age \u2013 and especially girls.\u201d<\/p>\n

When Bernice listens to young girls, she finds that many of them feel left out and isolated. They compare their developing bodies against each other and feel inadequate. Or they seek particular peer relationships and are made to feel they\u2019re not good enough to belong.<\/p>\n

Additional disrupting factors<\/h2>\n

Schools closing for health safety reasons and moving to virtual classrooms compound the problems.<\/p>\n

\u201cHigh school freshmen last year didn\u2019t get a normal start, and most people feel they got cheated,\u201d Bernice said. \u201cSeniors didn\u2019t get to have Senior Night in the normal ways. A lot didn\u2019t have proms. They didn\u2019t get the camaraderie they typically have.<\/p>\n

\u201cStudent-athletes, who normally get recruited their senior year, weren\u2019t playing and being seen. So they\u2019re having to go a different route, and that has caused not only anxiety, but depression.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then there\u2019s the increase in violence throughout society, ranging from mass shootings in popular public venues to targeted shootings to riots.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe reality is this is happening so much. Our young people are becoming desensitized,\u201d Bernice said. \u201cFor some of our young people, it has become normal to hear gunshots in their neighborhood. It\u2019s disheartening.\u201d<\/p>\n

In other words, pretty much everyone is in a tough spot and could use some help.<\/p>\n

Young people need love and support<\/h2>\n

So, how do we help our children cope?<\/p>\n

\u201cI encourage parents first to take care of themselves,\u201d Bernice said. \u201cProbably the most anxiety-provoking subject is that kids are stressed because their parents are stressed.\u201d<\/p>\n

And then?<\/p>\n

\u201cBasically, what I do is listen,\u201d Bernice said. \u201cTalk to them and listen to them. They need a safe space to talk about what they\u2019re feeling. Try not to stress about the homework, and just listen. When you listen, you\u2019ll find out that if something bad is not happening to them, it\u2019s happening around them, and they may be coping in unhealthy ways.\u201d<\/p>\n

Be careful not to dismiss your young person\u2019s feelings as \u201cjust going through a developmental stage.\u201d That might be partly true, but there is usually more to what they are experiencing.<\/p>\n

Make sure your children know they have your love and support. If they don\u2019t get it from you, they will seek it elsewhere \u2013 possibly in ways that will hurt them.<\/p>\n

Find help for your child<\/h2>\n

You don\u2019t have to shoulder the burden yourself.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have lots of resources out there, and some resources don\u2019t cost anything,\u201d Bernice said.<\/p>\n

OSF HealthCare offers a wide range of behavioral and mental health services<\/a>, including pediatrics. An OSF behavioral health navigator<\/a> can help you understand the resources available and link you to the appropriate services to best fit your needs. There is no charge to meet with a behavioral health navigator. Call (309) 308-8150 to get started.<\/p>\n

And here\u2019s a positive to keep in mind:<\/p>\n

\u201cMany of our teenagers are really resilient. They may be disappointed with how things are, but they\u2019re not giving up,\u201d Bernice said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat I\u2019ve seen, too, is that they really want people to treat each other well. They want equity. They\u2019re standing up for friends and being supportive.\u201d<\/p>\n

Many are also open to the need for professional counseling. They might just need to hear from you that it\u2019s OK.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There is no better time than now to listen to your children. As the world becomes more and more confusing, they’re feeling just as confused, lost and scared. Start the conversation and make sure your children know they have your love and support . <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":85,"featured_media":13526,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[116,734],"tags":[829,830,371,831,980],"coauthors":[912],"class_list":["post-13475","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pediatrics","category-mental-health","tag-anxiety","tag-depression","tag-pediatrics","tag-stress","tag-suicide"],"yoast_head":"\nListen! 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