![\"\"](\"https:\/\/osf-blog.live.imagescape.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/charley-in-uniform.jpg\")
This Christmas season, Cassie Rodgers will be surrounded by family and friends. There will be gifts, tree-trimming and a trip to midnight Mass. There will also be a major void and coping with grief.<\/p>\nThis Christmas season, Cassie Rodgers will be surrounded by family and friends. There will be gifts, tree-trimming and a trip to midnight Mass. There will also be a major void and coping with grief.<\/p>\n
Cassie, who works as an Automation\/Enablement Specialist in Supply Chain Management for OSF HealthCare lost her son on Christmas Eve in 2011.<\/p>\n
Charley Rodgers was a 26-year-old police officer, dog lover and enthusiastic outdoorsman who was generous with his time and active in everything from the Eagle Scouts to Habitat for Humanity and Big Brothers Big Sisters.<\/p>\n
Charley, who as a Type-1 diabetic struggled with insulin issues, was patrolling for the Glasford Police Department on Christmas Eve when he died. The holiday \u2013 and life in general – would be forever changed for Cassie and her family, who will always miss his laugh, his silly pranks, and his devotion to serving his community.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey say you deal with (a loved one\u2019s loss) day to day – sometimes it\u2019s breath to breath,\u201d Cassie said. \u201cIn the early days, it\u2019s so intense and you don\u2019t know how to move forward. You don\u2019t ever get over it, but you learn how to manage the pain a little better.\u201d<\/p>\n
https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=tzoDsLwjek8<\/p>\n
The holiday season can lose its celebratory nature for those who have lost loved ones, but there are ways that those who are grieving can get themselves through.<\/p>\n
Cassie and her family are coping with grief by honoring Charley\u2019s spirit in ways that he would appreciate, from attending midnight Mass at the church he attended to trimming the tree with ornaments collected throughout Charley\u2019s life.<\/p>\n
As her two children were growing up, Cassie would purchase Charley and his sister, Carlye, two annual Christmas ornaments \u2013 one with a brother\/sister theme and one to represent a significant event in their lives that year.<\/p>\n
She continues to buy yearly ornaments for Charley, observing milestones he would have marked. Trimming the tree for Cassie and her daughter has become an emotional yet therapeutic time for them as they sift through the cherished memories of Charley\u2019s life.<\/p>\n
Cassie says while family has been her biggest source of strength, she also gives herself permission to be alone. The advice she would give to others who are coping with grief is, simply, \u201cBe kind to yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhatever feels right to you is the right thing to do,\u201d she said. \u201cIf you want to be alone, be alone. If you want to be with family, be with family. There\u2019s no book on how you\u2019re supposed to do this. It\u2019s different for everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Christmas isn\u2019t the only time Cassie celebrates her son\u2019s memory. She makes regular visits to a tree that was planted in his name at Iowa Wesleyan College, his alma mater. She has donated funds for a Boy Scouts outreach program so inner-city youth can attend wilderness outings.<\/p>\n
She continues to be a supporter of Charley\u2019s law enforcement colleagues, bringing in treats on his birthday and participating in events such as the Walk to Remember, a fundraiser for the families of fallen police officers. Her porch light bulbs are always blue, a nod to Project Blue Light Illinois, which also honors fallen officers.<\/p>\n
Cassie especially appreciates when friends \u2013 or, sometimes, even strangers \u2013 share a happy memory with her.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not afraid to talk about Charley. He\u2019s still with me, and he always will be,\u201d she said. \u201cI think about how much living he fit into his 26 years.\u2026 I\u2019m not going to let his death define me; I\u2019m going to let his life define me.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This Christmas season, Cassie Rodgers will be surrounded by family and friends. There will be gifts, tree-trimming and a trip to midnight Mass. There will also be a major void and coping with grief. Cassie, who works as an Automation\/Enablement Specialist in Supply Chain Management for OSF HealthCare lost her son on Christmas Eve in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[289,223],"tags":[526],"coauthors":[709],"class_list":["post-2149","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-palliative-care","category-patient-story","tag-grief-and-bereavement"],"yoast_head":"\n