I had always been healthy. My main health concern was to keep an eye on my cholesterol. I didn\u2019t think much of it when, in my mid-forties, I noticed a small tremor in my finger.<\/p>\n
I brought it up to my doctor, who likewise didn\u2019t seem overly concerned when I described my symptoms, but sent me to see a movement disorder specialist (MDS) for an evaluation.<\/p>\n
The MDS at OSF HealthCare Illinois Neurological Institute<\/a> had me go through the battery of seemingly simple tests: tapping your index finger to your thumb, opening and closing your hands, tapping your feet, holding out your hands with your eyes closed and counting backwards, walking down the hall.<\/p>\n Then, she looked at my wife and I and said, \u201cYou have Parkinson\u2019s disease.\u201d<\/p>\n When she said those words, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I was NOT prepared. WE were not prepared.<\/p>\n In the months that followed my diagnosis, I constantly worried about what this was going to mean for my wife and kids. Would their lives now be turned upside down by having to take care of me? This was not fair to them. I could accept that I was going to suffer, but it wasn\u2019t fair that they had to as well.<\/p>\n I felt hopeless and all alone.<\/p>\n I kept reading that depression was a common issue, and my movement disorder specialist<\/a> referred me to a mental health therapist. Over several months, my counselor<\/a> helped me realize that Parkinson\u2019s disease did not define me.<\/p>\n We did a lot of exercises to help me learn to cope. The most powerful exercise for me was to write a letter to Parkinson\u2019s. It was hard, but it helped me clarify what was going on emotionally. It was such a powerful exercise for me that I asked my wife to do the same thing. It was somehow easier for us to write our feelings about Parkinson\u2019s down on paper than to talk directly to each other. By writing that letter, I found a whole new set of priorities. I wanted to live my life to the fullest.<\/p>\nAn uncertain future<\/h2>\n